There are so many random yet vile thoughts flooding through my mind right now, as the car makes its way to jurong from pasir ris. I know I'm gonna suffer a bout of motion sickness later blogging on my mobile in a car, but what the heck, I just need a space to yabble on.

There is such a fine line between what makes a normal or sweet dream a nightmare. And recently I've been having many of these dreams coming to me during the day (yes, I do not dream in my sleep fyi) its starting deserve some concern. What started out as a seemingly normal daydream would be interrupted with a abnormaly, making it unpleasant; sometimes the abnormaly would be ridiculous; other times impossible; or at worst - immoral. I wonder where all these vile secretions in my dreams leak from. Has there been too many things happening around me? So much so I'm starting to lose my foothold on my subconscious mind? This could spell bad news in some aspects. The subconscious mind is way way way more powerful and influential than the conscious mind.

Being wrapped up and toasted over so much emotional flames, its more than just a cosy ride. When needs are not met, and that could mean trouble. Especially when the tolerance grows taut, like a rubber band, so taut it might snap. Its like walking on egg shells. Its a fragile and delicate situation. And worse is, I think I've crushed quite a plenty of shells already. Bad bad bad.

I need a doctor soon, or I'm gonna start pretending that airplanes are shooting stars and start wishing upon them. A random chatter reminded me how powerful words could be, and especially for me who could turn words into velvet or blades, losing touch on the craft meant my words going out of control. But sometimes I feel the need to speak unbeautified - unedited - to those who mean more to me. There should be no need to butter up my speech. Shouldn't I be speaking my mind in its simplest form?

Andddd, strange enough, now I'm in camp. A miracled came in through sms. Seems like a hint of understanding. Me loves to be understood! Feels like people are really paying attention! C: Anyway, I should close off the post here. It looks really long on my BlackBerry's screen. So long!


Waihong, miracled.

its been quite a eventful day out, from over at my darling's place to a steamboat shop somewhere in bugis and then over to clarke quay for some round of drinks.

i realise its only when one heads out and socialise with others that things happen. different things outside of one's regular routine. when things aren't controlled by your whimsical wants and wishes, one will be forced to adapt and make best of the situation; or the choice to enjoy or suffer the moment.

choices are made everyday, every moment. there is often no right or wrong to those choices made, only consequences and after actions. like karma, what goes around comes around. when one does not convey the desired message, the outcome becomes undesired; when one makes a choice in a rash without considering consequences, the consequences comes back around and kick you in the balls (if any).

but then again, who's never made bad choices? and whenever we realise the choice made is bad, there's another few choices splayed outfront: 1) you wait. 2) tackle immediately and rectify. often the choice made is 1) you wait. i'm not saying that is a bad choice, as many things are out of our hands, and based of situation, we have to wait for the appropriate opening to tackle the issue. as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait, but not for too long please.

i feel like an old man right now, after seeing my boys drink to their enlistment in the coming week, time seems to have just whizzed by. i need to do more meaningful stuff, find my loose endings in life and tie them up, plan for the next 5 years of my life, plan for the next 10 years afterwards, and plan how to clear my off-in-lieu and annual leave.

to be a better man? well that shall see, after all, perfection is contentment. will i ever be contented with my life? hahaha. i wanna be smart, but maybe just when i thought i know enough, i will realise i actually do not know anything at all.

oh the irony.


Waihong, living still.