Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…..leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

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Perspective on LIFE

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night…

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all appreciated everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

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Engineers

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”.

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

it just keeps rolling all around my mind, "what am i going to be doing in the future?"

maybe i just havent found my path to take,
the ending that i want to see.

but then again,
what DO i want to see?

what does a hug serve to deliver?

warmth? comfort? security?

or is it just an action of physical touch?

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i cant help but be attracted to you,
like a moth to fire,
as much as i didnt want to.

you capture my gaze
by merely being there.

so i much i want to embrace you.
your body,
your mind,
your heart.

will you ever hold me close,
like how i've held you near?

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i've realised being too close to an unobtainable goal feels amazingly like shit, despite have a im-so-near-it sensation, the aftertouch simply leaves you feeling like all the colors in the world has been drained from my eyes.
eek.

i've always thought i had good anger management until today. the issue had gone through my head again and again and again, and i kept reflecting on it after its end. i thought to myself, "why couldnt i have just kept my mouth CLEAN and swallowed my pride?"

through the incident, i made a resolve - that is, to practise keeping my cool. i mean i've lived it COOL and CALM for a while now, so why break my way of life? CALM and COOL is the way yo!

maybe there's just too much things on my mind, anger management just doesnt kick in anymore, like a spring that needs to be recoiled. and im gonna start recoiling it now. im sure it'll benefit me in de long run :)

and i'll need to keep my sarcasm down too..

started working back in aranda restaurant again, and remembering how it used to feel to sweat my guts out and have my arms feel like swinging pieces of meat. kinda terrible and ARGH-inducing but nonetheless, its shiokness.

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recently i've been feeling really emotional now and then again. wondering why.. is it because all the old feelings are rushing back up (and out)? or just emotional swings? who knows..

all i know is i still do have that feeling somewhere inside of me, and i have matured from 7 months and 10 days ago..

it just feels so shitty that she is just there and yet i cant reach out to her and embrace her.it stings and bites time and time it happens and yet i mask it with a smile.

what worse things can i do to her, hiding my feelings behind a smile - something so true to her. i feel bad, and yet, if i revealed my truth, im afraid things will complicate and i'll lose even more then i have.

for how long more will this mask-play act last?

someone tell me.