thinking back about the past, i do realise i've left many things incompleted. some of which are negligence on my own part, others are those that cannot be done.

even though it might seem calm and cosy now, the turbulence from then has still yet to subside. as much as i want to believe its all over, time and time again i am revisited by that haunting, creeping sensation.

its not over yet.

and even so, there seems to be no way for me to rid myself of that haunt. if the source of my problems was humanshaped, i'd rip of his arms and bitchslap himself with them before i drive his arms back into his body. but thats just metaphorical.

maybe its just my own selfish opinion, but i think i have to take further measures this time. its no longer as simple as waiting until the storm subsides.

there is debris where there is a storm. the debris signifies the mark of that storm.

yes the debris left uncleared, and its not going to clear itself. and now that i have time on my hands, its my turn to cast the dice. it has taken too long and way too much superficiality. the comfort zone now longer exists.

i will get my answers this time. my way.

yes im bored. and thats why i blog. its a personal space for me to waste time and express myself in words. sometimes i wished i could dance, or draw/paint as another mean of express myself, its so much more cooler to be able to do it that way. i mean, everyone can blog, but its not everyone who can dance or do art properly. if i'd danced, i'd probably be more popular than i am right now xD.

there's been new things in life to look forward to. new people met. new things NOT done. well im technically still schooling (exams in 2 weeks). the past week of allnighters left me in bad shape.  my face looked like a meteor shower landsite. its bad. very bad. gotta spend time sleeping instead of doing things like blogging.

yeah, there's a lost in income this year for me. i mean, im not gonna be visiting any of my relatives in the next 3 days. granny passed on, and the chinese traditioned that i cant celebrate for the entire year. i wished i wasn't chinese sometimes, or at least wished i don't have traditional parents.

speaking of wishes, reminds me of my birthday which passes uneventfully. someone asked me "how are you celebrating your birthday?" and i replied "with my projects..". damn sad right? i need my presents people! if everyone gave me 10bucks, i could possibly gather enough to buy myself a PSP already..

well. toddles. im off for lunch.

Waihong, out.

I AM 20.