i've realised over the years, i'm prone to anxiety attacks whenever situations do not go as i had planned or predicted. i will start to think, and the myraids of possiblities will swarm into my puny mind - anxiety attack.

but of course, there are many ways to keep the anxiety suppressed, at least until it disappears. somehow it seems possible for myself to talk myself out of the anxiety attack. simply by being on my own, walking and talking to myself works. i think i'm perhaps 51% insane most of the time.

my anxiety seems to have a physical manifestation on my body. there will always be a contraction in my abdomen, as if something is eating away from the inside. the tightness is consistent and only starts to subside when i talk myself out of the anxiety. weird huh? =.= i'm beginning to think i'm an alien not born of this world, and that my birth details are all fabricated fakes, and my parents are secret agents.

personally i hope i wont suffer from anxiety attacks in camp, being unable to know about how everyone is doing outside. yes, "not knowing" is my kryptonite. its a  peeve perhaps, but a lot a times, i get what i want to know. information. well, i hope that the hunger to know does not surface, that i'd be too preoccupied with my new life to think about mainland.

speaking of army, i still havent bought my necessities yet. more ziplocks, a watch, powder etc. may army be as i expect it to be. i really dont like unpleasant surprises. being posted in rocky hills certainly does not help much.


Waihong, out.

P.S. ever heard of a term "personal twitter" ?:D