feeling a little down, though a little could be an understatement right now.

down, because i've let down a few people in my life.

down, because i've been thrown a glare at.

down, because i've been ignored by.

but then again, i never gave my word i'd deliver. i never promised to anything. i have my own life to attend to as well. friends are no doubt at the core of my life, but its not the one there. i'm not a nice fella i'll admit. i'm just sweet, and capricious. its a dangerous concept to want to try.

but still, i'll learn from my screw ups. because i resent glares and being ignored without a known reason. and i'm not intuitive enough to know why either. so its either you tell me, or you tell me. no hold bars between friends. i predict i'll see y'all around in the far future, so lets get used to having each other screwing up once in a while. i have my selfish moments too, and frankly i like to screw up sometimes - just to be a bitch.

not good with apologies, but i gotta do it somehow.

inexperience finally has dropped its wake-up call on me. knowledge is nothing without experience, and experience cannot be gained without playing the game itself. but if the game is hard to come by, does it mean i'm doomed to be noob for as long as it takes? or maybe i'm just putting too much pressure on myself once again. but with this, i've had my first experience in the field, next time will be smoother - i hope to get better.

ok the downness is being alleviated gradually. i can take my mind off and go to bed. goodnight my dear, goodnight my world.


Waihong, out.