given this ridiculous amount of free time on my hands, everyday seems to be a day of discovery. everyday i could something new about myself.

just yesterday, i discovered how much i resented realising that i made a wrong decision. sure, initially the choice seemed sure, and that the consequences of making that choice was predictable. but thats as far as it gets. resultant occurances sometimes get so bewildering, and all i can do is to watch the scenario unfold itself way beyond my control. and only until the undesired has surfaced, that i realised "it was a wrong choice".

i realised no matter how selfish i want to get, i always end up giving in to people that i care for, even if that means i could risk being on the short end of the rope. i don't like to see the people i care for suffer, and will try to help ease their pain by means of comforting words and advice. but times the advice worked against my own other intentions, and ends up me not achieving my initial plans.  
i had to give in to the softer side of me. why?

i've never been one who likes to lose. especially to myself. all the time i try to remind myself: plan ahead for everything, but distractions are all around me, and i tend to get too caught up in the moment to remind myself. and it is in that blinded moment that i fail to choose the correct move. one wrong leads to another. and i would only realise it when the result bitch-slaps me in the face.

perhaps its time i learn to think and plan at the same time. think of the possible choices in the moment, and plan which choice leads to the most desirable outcome. spontaneous foresight, my boy. wished i wasnt wired to be such a naive person.

spontaneous foresight,
Waihong, out.

P.S. i also do realise i tend to think very negatively when i have to wait aimlessly. shucks. many much more discoveries, but the lack of foresight bugs me most. geez.