today has been rather eventful.

didn't leave my bed until near noon, despite waking up at 10am. as always, these days i've been waking up and wondering what the day will bring me. no more schedules, no more routines. "absolute" freedom. decided that i should head out for a swim after lunch. the weather was awesome during the swim. no sun! though it did threaten to rain, but never did. headed to school to chill, met some friends for dinner, met another friend for a drink. chatted around, agreed to help, went home, and the rest is for you to guess.

i do realise i am trying very hard to be open with as many people as i can possible reach out to. amongst those that i try, i am glad that the openness is reciprocated. guess this is how its like to want to help people. disappointing thing is that i will miss all my wonderful friends in another month's time. i try to be optimistic, but whenever i think of 17 weeks in BMTC, all the optimism just seems to drain away. often i wonder if i'll be missed, if anyone will find it odd not having me around.

there's been so much going on in my head these nights that i wonder if i'll be able to chew everything at the same time. i don't to be a burden in anyone's life, and very much less if they are close to me. i want people to tell me things, i want to bicker, i want to laugh. feels like im trying to burn myself out, playing with different kinds of fires.

i wonder if i'll get burnt?