it has been quite a some time since the start of this whole mess, and frankly speaking, i'm running short on fuse to burn. for everyday that this crap drags on, i'm burdening myself with the fact that i've ruined someone's life, and i might just snap and really go crazy. (guys it's just a figure of speech. ain't really gonna happen)

yes, i did say i'll wait for you. and perhaps you could be so kind to at least talk to me. no point sounding so nice on your blog, it just sounds like a bad cover-up story. don't talk about my life like it is yours when you don't understand shit.

to mr. good friend:
i know we have had a number of misunderstandings and conflicts unresolved. you seek to let them wriggle off by themselves but i want to let you know, what you've done, what you've tried so hard to possess is intimidating me. and i need time to cool off, to let it sink down. and i feel this cool off is best for both of us. you have your time to adjust to a more less hectic lifestyle. nevertheless thank you for being someone so close to me for these few years. i really treasure you. take care and no more wellowing in depression!

yes and please treasure me lots. thanks. I'M FUCKING WELLOWING IN ANGER NOW!!

come on. face up to this. if you truly believe that there's nothing wrong and you haven't done anything wrong then why the shy-away? i've been trying as hard as shit to be ok about all this, and i already am. the really matter now is YOU. what the fuck is wrong with you?

if you're never gonna be ok with me in this lifetime, then tell me to fuck off. i will be fine with that. no need engage me in a hide-and-seek tumble and then leave me to hang dry. things are not gonna resolve themselves like evaporation. tell me what you want and it shall be done. i've had enough of you and your boytoy hiding away in the wardrobe.

and especially for HIM. stop being such a pussy. you're making me regret that i tried to be nice.

if you're actually reading this. stare long and hard, cos this is the real emotions i've been bottling up. and if you are getting a kick seeing me fucking up my life, please do drop me a call to say you're having a good time. cos seriously, one phone call won't hurt. i'll even pay you your 5minutes phone bills.

till this point, i've never wanted to be playing the bad guy. but its precisely it is this point, i realised there is a need for a bad guy to make things move faster. don't mistaken this declaration for me trying to ruin us, cos for a while now, its you who's been ruining us. patience doesn't pay.

i'll speak of some truth:
i've subtly become more flirtatious in my behaviour towards the ladies around me (hope they don't mind).
i've also started reconnecting with some of the people around me.
i've started speaking my mind more often.

i'm trying to make a change to my own life. and frankly, i am feeling rather good. but there's always this you thats bugging this revolution.

ok, i've said more than what is needed already. i never thought this point would come this soon. perhaps as last words before i go, i shall tell you this: if you two really are serious about getting together, why bother keeping the relationship a secret from your corporation? unless its all a sham, or a fling.

well thats about all so...
Waihong, out.

ps. i apologise for the increase in profanities used in this post.