yes i'm having this odd bout of dulan-ness around me today. feels like everything is not going well. not at all.

my thoughts were cloudy, couldn't think straight at all. i'm ill. very very very ill.

physically i'm down with a cough that gives me hell at night. having been lacking rest for almost a week already. and the restlessness is taking its toll on my mind.

not to mention that my mind already wasn't in good shape right from the start. its been torturous. everyday i wake up with a swirling headspin of thoughts i just can't get out of my head.

nothing is going well i'd say. Nothing.

though i strongly believe my physical health and mental health are interlinked. as long as both are not recovering well, the other will not either. and the worse news of all: they both are not recovering well, even on their own.

i feel like i'm in a semi state of concussion, having an imaginary clamp tightening on my head. i know i'll eventually recover from my cough,

but who will help me recover from my slashed up heart?

i know there are the people who say "she's screwing up your life", and also "we're/i'm concerned about you going crazy". but seriously, its not that i'm taking all of you for granted, but sometimes there will bound to be somethings that will diss your friends off. somethings you want, someone you like.

right now, although everyone is saying its for my good, and i really really appreciate the good thoughts. but who i really want is. yeah. you all know the answer. you could reprimand me for it all you like, but thats how stubborn i've become. and i really love who i love.

like i've said before, i will make attempts to like what you guys may like, though it may not be entirely. so i hope that at least some of you will become and encouragement to me instead of a rebellion.

sorry guys, but i love her. and thats my resolution.

Waihong, out.